Shenanigans

Yeah, we’re calling shenanigans on all this crap that’s been going down here at SA Metal.  First our server fails, then we find out that the company who fixed the server, who will remain nameless, turned the server into a sloth.  This forced us to invest in another, much smaller server. 

In short, we’re back.  Unfortunately, everybody working at SA Metal is incredibly busy with real life tasks, so updates will not be daily.  We’re sorry folks, but please keep the faith!

Since we’ve already got your attention, go check out The Binary Code.  We recently purchased their demo, and it absolutely slays.  Also, go download Gama Bomb’s new album at Earache.  It’s not innovative, but it’s heavy, and free.  Also, the album artwork is amazing:

Technical Difficulties

SA Metal’s server is down, and we are in fact bumming off of a neighbors server as we speak.  Hopefully the problem will be fixed within the next few days.  Until then, go to MetalSucks for all your metal news.

-SA Metal

We Want You!

Don’t forget metalheads: SA Metal is currently recruiting writers.  We are looking for 1 or 2 literary geniuses that can help us run this website.  We have very busy schedules, which limits how often we can post shit on here.  So please, if you are interested in writing for SA Metal, especially album reviews, send an email to mkieke@trinity.edu with an example of your writing.

-SA Metal

Tortured Tuesday

Every Tuesday at SA Metal, we will post some of the most horrendous music you have ever heard, hence the name “Tortured Tuesday.”  I know what you’re thinking: “But SA Metal, why would you want to do something so evil to us, when we are so alike.  Let us listen to the trOO metal!”  Really it’s just to show you how lucky you dirtbags really are, not having to live a mediocre life following the norm.

We all know Five Finger Death Punch blow major monkey balls, I mean, MetalSucks talks about them almost every day.  However, let me show you exactly who thousands of people are finding entertaining these days:

Death Before Dishonor by Five Finger Death Punch

If you made it through that song, then please leave this site.

Follow the jump to find out what you should purchase this fine Tuesday to replace the memory of….whatever you call what we just listened to.

What the Fuck Is A Diablo String Orchestra?

An incredible heavy metal band, that’s what.  I honestly can’t even begin to explain their sound.  You truly have to hear it to believe it.  Go check out their website here.  If the music intrigues you, then I implore you to download The Butcher’s Ballroom at Free Metal Albums.

If you are so incredibly lazy that you can’t follow those links, then check out a couple of their songs below:

Poetic Pitbull Revolutions

Gunpowder Chant

-MAK

Cormorant Just Blew My Mind

We’ve been doing some soul searching around here at SA Metal, and we believe that there is already more than enough metal news websites currently floating about the webernet.  In fact, they are all listed on the right side of this page.

So we’ve decided to remodel this shit a bit.  We’re taking out the updates on worthless bullshit like Rammenstein dicks, and concentrating solely on local shows and underground bands.

Metal Tragedies

Don Decker – Vocalist for Anal Blast (41)

Chris Puma – Original Guitarist for Candiria (24)

Mike Alexander – Bassist for Evile (32)

R.I.P. Brothers.

Music Updates

Open Hand used to be one of my favorite bands, but it appears that they have left their old pop-rock sound for something more aligned with indie rock.  This isn’t sad news per se, because I’ve stopped listening to pop-rock and started listening to indie, but their new music just doesn’t do much for me.  Check it out for yourself here.

Divinity, who sound like a mixture of Gojira and Strapping Young Lad (yeah, orgasm!), have posted 3 new songs on their myspace from their upcoming album, The Singularity.  I haven’t been this blown away since I first discovered Remission.

Rammenstein Offer Molds of Their Dicks

I’ve never been a big fan of Rammenstein, but they are quite popular, especially among the casual metal fans.  So I’m not particularly psyched about their new album, whose title and release date I honestly don’t know or care to look up, but their special edition package has certainly caught my eye.

You can purchase their new album along with a pair of handcuffs….and dildos that are apparently molded from the members’ members.

Feel the Steel!

Steel Panther – Feel the Steel

Parody of hair metal with good musicianship and hilarious lyrics.

4/5

Poor? Download:

“Death to All But Metal”

“Community Property”

“Fat Girl”